Tremors

Well, well, well

2007-01-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

Word has reached my ear that some people have read this - people that I know. I suppose I had it coming, what with the internet being publicly accessible.... I would simply ask that if you have been disturbed by any of this that you take note of the dates. What once were bloody cuts are now only scars, in Shane I have found peace, joy, insanity, etc. If you enjoyed any of my juvenalia as far as the poetry (poor deluded Rose) please check out some of my better work here: http://www.fictionpress.com/~wormsofcharacter I'm still growing as a poet and as a person. If indeed there are people reading this, I shall try to come out of my bitchy shell and post the occassional random hilarity. Cheers.

Indiana Jones!!

2006-11-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

Indiana Jones
You scored 72% outgoingness, 68% intelligence, and 54% goodness!

Charming and intelligent, you are Indiana Jones. You talk the talk and you walk the walk.

Love's Mother

2005-09-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, Mandy gets all credit for the last line of this poem (cause I know she'll demand it if I don't give it to her, lol).

Intellectual intercourse cannot penetrate
Our black and red existence;
Every dictated error a murder not committed

Until hearts understand the semantics of the spirit
And the schematics of the soul,
Making two schisms three.

Pieces of torn souls,
Broken spirits
And cracked hearts

Are a poisonous potion –
Bottled rage is potent but painful,
So don’t forget to make me cry.

Repentance grants no redemption,
But basking in your anger
Is painless penance,

Discovering perspective
And soaring towards salvation
In a euthanasia state of mind.

The Green Heart

2005-09-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

I have decided to blog once more. You will notice, I have deleted a lot of crap, and it is my pleasure to annouce that this little bloggie will now be a celebration of my growth as a poet. I was quite tempted to delete all the "poetry" I'd written on this thing, but I have left it to emphasize that I am gettin a little better (I hope!) I also certainly hope that this doesn't count as publishing, because I am trying to get some of my stuff published.... anyway, this is my latest, written for a dear friend....

The Green Heart

The green heart is young,
Her innocence bruised
By denim miniskirts
That don't hide frilly scarlet,

And the man in the moon
Is singing tonight
Of sweetness without sugar
Like a naked wedding cake.

The green heart is jealous
Of white hearts and black hearts
Because they know nothing
Of sex and lies,

Kisses and caresses
That she waited to reject
Until green would turn red
And love could accept.

The green heart is sick;
She stops her heart-shaped ears and eyes
But still she vomits forth streams of
Unwanted visions

Of naked bodies
Whose tits and cunts are licked and squeezed
By the mouth that lulled her
And the hand that held her.

The green heart is alive
And beating with new strength,
For she is loved by hearts
That don't harden in other breasts,

And because she never took in
The impatient hand,
The green heart will not wander
In love's guiltiest land.

Beautiful Laceration

2005-04-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

Your inner beauty arches above me,
A vast, starless expanse
Created in agony and ecstasy.

The sweet in bittersweet -
The bitter in bittersweet;
Pain's beguiling mistress.

You are Venus' lost relic,
But dead skin fills your grooves
And disguises your texture.

How can I restore you?
My heart hurts for you, but
Your heart bleeds for you.

Crimson streams flow below
Your once seamless surface,
Longing to burst into fame, and

When the dark skies part
to reveal your sighing spirit
And struggling soul,

The red rain paints pretty pictures.
Don't you see that you are already art
Displayed on a pedestal in my heart?

Storming My Fortress

2005-03-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Writhing within this borrowed nest -
Struggling against the thought of love;
Cupid holds a knife to my throat, and
I stare at the lack of stars above.

My heart is covered with winter -
Tightly closed, hinges rusted, frozen shut;
The road to my love is slippery and
Blocked with drifting, snowy guilt.

There's a power outage in my soul,
Leaving the legions of love lost and alone.
Darkness pushes you away, the
Fuses of my spirit have been blown.

I stand in the eye of the storm,
Protected by my raging revenge,
Watching you try to rescue me -
Watching you take the fatal plunge.

You idiot.

Help, I'm Drowning!

2005-02-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

In creative writing we wrote limericks. I wrote this:

There was a teenager in pain
She might not have even been sane
So she took out a knife
Tried to cut out her strife
Her efforts were mostly in vain.

And you know what else?? I kissed my best freinds boyfriend! Only the scum of the universe would do something like that. Arg.

Tangle

2005-01-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

A web of confusion conceals the answer

As i fall flailing into the clutches of

A spider.

Waiting on a hammock of horrors.

The horrors of realizing that

I am trapped.

Trapped by myself, and by

The world around me.

I have been a slave, a toy,

And a mirror -

I am a free spirit confined.

Christmas Eve

2004-12-24T16:23:00.000-08:00

The snow outside makes me want to hide even more than usual
And it's cold out there like I am in here
I used to think that I'd never be warm again
But you're braving the snow for me, and it seems to be melting away
A white Christmas is supposed to be a good thing
But the snow inside me has rusted shut the hinges of my heart
Now I'm inspired to write some poetry
I'll publish it here when I have it written.

2004-12-24T16:17:00.000-08:00

What I feel:
Anger
Hatred
Guilt
What I do about it:
Cut myself
Cry
Sleep

Emergence of the Darkness

2004-12-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

I'm drowning. I'm curled up in the fetal position on the bottom of the shower and my thigh is covering the drain, but it's not water that is suffocating me - it's my inner darkness. Again. Fighting it is like trying to stay dry in a swimming pool. It all started with those three little words, "Hey, sexy lady." For the girl who considered making out in the unisex washroom a rather great acomplishment, getting it on with a pastor's son seems like the epitome of all things. He wants me, I'm gonna go for it, but what about my boyfriend? Well the guilt has made me regress to my former masochistic self, and now I'm in the shower crying because of the red streaks that sting in the hot water. If I take a lot of Tylenol I'll fall asleep and escape this guilt. That's what I'll do: go to bed and swallow a bunch of pills. Oh what a vicious chain of events the darkness causes.

Purgatory

2004-12-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

Opening mouth
Sticking pen inside
Reaching further, deeper
Ejecting only
Good
Necessary
Nourishing
Put in by choice.

Rotting inside
Wishing bad stuff
Would come to a head
Pushing out
Long
Grey
Disgusting
Worms of character.

Sliding along skin
Cold and sharp
Pain cleansing like fire
Dripping out
Pink
Red
Black
Darkness within.

2004-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

Worms of character
Red relief
Tremors split your mind,
Mix your feelings
As my heartbeat shakes the world
Flooding your life
Salt of the eyes
Red tears from the soul
I'm a natural disaster;
You're a storm-chaser.